Charles Foster Offdensen
Charles Foster Offdensen (also Ofdensen or simply CFO) is Dethklok's manager, legal counsel, and chief financial officer, the latter also incidentally being his initials. Following the events of The Doomstar Requiem he has since resigned as Dethklok's manager and is now the High Holy Priest of the Church of the Black Klok. Appearance In accordance with his role, Offdensen is seen as a very professional, very serious business man who has little (if any) time for fun and games. He wears corporate casual suits and slicked back hair whenever he's seen and glasses to emphasize the "No Funny Stuff" personality he expresses (though whether he needs glasses to see is up for debate as he was seen many times not wearing them while scouting information on the Falconback Project). In the Season 3 premier, "RenovationKlok", ''Charles has a scar on the left side of his cheek, caused by the Metal Masked Assassin in the ''"Dethrelease," ''However, the scar does not appear for the remainder of the season. Personality He acts as the voice of reason against Dethklok's constant disregard of law and logic. He acts as manager, lawyer, and adviser to Dethklok, protecting the band against everything from slowing record sales to themselves. Offdensen is one of the few individuals seen to interact with Dethklok for any significant length of time and evade subsequent mutilation or death. Offdensen is a "dark parody" caricature of band-managers, being "all about business;" he reacts with general apathy to the mayhem caused by Dethklok, his only concern seemingly being the legal or financial ramifications of their actions. Similarly, he shows little more than slight annoyance when the band insults him in one way or another. Despite his attempts to curb Dethklok's violent behavior (at least in public), Offdensen has performed or ordered performed numerous acts of brutality. However, his violent acts are always quite calculated and done with surgical precision and with clear objectives in mind to protect the band — unlike the band's violent actions and effects which tend to be extremely random and usually quite accidental. He has no problem ordering others to be beaten or killed (Dr. Rockzo in particular, whom he orders to be beaten and tortured twice). General Crozier warns Dr. Rockzo to "stay away from Offdensen, he means business." In an extra clip Metalocalypse Season 2 DVD, Offdensen is seen telling Dethklok he's sorry about Melmord's splitting (he apparently lied to them about Melmord's disappearance), likely fabricating the story that appeared in the news that Melmord was a pedophile. He also tells them he can be more fun like Melmord. He then proceeds to get drunk and party with Dethklok. Offdensen's knowledge of the conspiracy against Dethklok is unknown. His office has a safe containing classified information; however, the contents of the safe are never seen, as he catches Dr. Rockzo just before the act of attempting to film them. He uses high-tech radar and surveillance to monitor the band's safety during their ill-fated performance of ''Dethwater at the Gulf of Danzig in the first-season finale; he likewise has an elaborate defense, escape and counterstrike prepared when military forces attack Dethklok. Given Offdensen's words it would appear he is very well aware of the conspiracy against Dethklok and seems to be aware of Selatcia's and possibly the Tribunal's actions, but to what extent is still unknown. Upon viewing the Church of the Black Klok episode, it seems that Offdensen has actually been aware of Selatcia's and the Falconback project after the attack on Mordhouse; the same episode where he was declared dead. Seeing how Dethklok was affected by their manager's supposed death, the band members appear to realize how important Offdensen is to them in order to protect them and their band from outside threats, like Damien, and even themselves. His abilities as band manager allows Dethklok to ignore any business matters once again and focus with what they are best at: Death Metal. Skill & Hobbies Offdensen is known for collecting lamps. He categorizes them into two groups: his "good lamps", and his "cheap lamps". Although it is unknown where the good lamps are from, all of the cheap lamps are from Ikea. When two of his good lamps were smashed by an angry Pickles (after he found out that Rikki Kixx had taken over Snakes N' Barrels and made them sober), Offdensen told Pickles not to break his good lamps and told him to break the cheap lamps, instead. Pickles then proceeded to break all of the cheap lamps, with Toki coming in and joining Pickles. When Pickles & Toki start to run out of cheap lamps, Offdensen uses an intercom to page one of the Klokateers to bring in more lamps (the cheap lamps of course). Given Dethklok's propensity for throwing tantrums & breaking things, it would seem Offdensen has a surplus of "cheap lamps" just in case. When Pickles notes how many lamps Charles has in his office, he merely replies that "lighting is important." Offdensen displays exceptional skill in close-quarters combat in several episodes. In "The Metalocalypse Has Begun" he single-handedly disarms and almost kills the Metal Masked Assassin, despite the latter being much more physically imposing. When he is surprised, badly beaten and thrown through a window several stories high in their next encounter, in the episode "The Revengencers", he manages to land on his hands and feet without injury. In "Dethsources", he has a fencing match with Melmord Fjordslorn to determine who would remain as Dethklok's manager, having insisted that the only way to separate him from Dethklok would be to kill him. After a lengthy battle, Offdensen barely manages to stab Melmord (He fights him offhanded since Melmord is left handed) and force him off of the top of Mordhaus' Dragonspire, causing him to fall to his death on the train tracks below. Offdensen also seemingly has the ability to sense the presence of members of Dethklok and whether they are missing. He asks for a "headcount of the boys" in several episodes because in his words, "Something doesn't feel right." In all instances he was correct. A special feature on the Season 4 DVD set shows that Offdensen also likes to practice rapping when no one's around. History Season 1 Charles Foster Offdensen makes his debut in "Dethwater," where he requests yet more money for Dethklok to re-re-record an album in the Mariana Trench. He shows no signs of intimidation by Nathan's initial outburst, though he does tend to heed the words and warnings of the band when he obeys Dethklok's alcohol-induced plans for their new dethphones in "Dethtroll." This lack of intimidation continues throughout the season, which ultimately helps to reveal Offdensen's repressed dark side and brutality. He shows his desire to help Dethklok in any way he can, which includes band therapy in "Performanceklok" and protecting the band's investments in "Murdering Outside the Box" when he suggests the band blame their own embezzelment scheme on a recently deceased Klokateer. He goes on to show his lack of squeemishness towards death in "Mordland" when the Jomfru Brothers attempt to blackmail Dethklok. Offdensen's typical stick-in-the-mud personality and persistant lectures of wise spending get on Dethklok's nerves throughout the season, until he encourages the band to go all out in "Fat Kid at the Dethharmonic" for tax reasons. Despite all of this though, he always has the band's best interests in mind, as seen in "Skwisklok" when he tries to comfort Skwisgaar after seeing evidence of crying. This can also be seen in "Dethstars" when he warns the band against a possible band backlash if their movie images fail to impress the audience. Charles's role in the series is toned down a bit after that until towards the end. Offdensen's warnings about safety precautions continue until the season finale, "The Metalocalypse Has Begun." Also in the finale, Offdensen's brutality comes into the light when he defends Toki and Skwisgaar against the Metal Masked Assassin. He break's the assassin's arm and stabs him in the back with his own knife before roundhouse kicking him into the Gdańsk Bay. Season 2 In Dethecution, Offdensen finds Dethklok has become a bit moody since they where attacked in "The Metalocalypse Has Begun" (with Dethklok & the rest of the world believing they were attacked by radical Dethklok fans). He tries to get the band to get back to work, only to have them start referring him as a robot. He finally manages to convince them to do a show, at a mass execution of death row criminals. After the show Dethklok, calls a meeting with Offdensen, to apologize to him for calling him a robot and the show ends with Nathan saying "Keep up the great work. See you later.", showing that in their own way Dethklok appreciates what Offdensen does for them. ]] Offdensen managed to secure global license to instantly and secretly trace, capture, torture and imprison all those who illegally download or record Dethklok's music. These victims are simply publicly listed as "missing," but are secretly imprisoned and tortured at Mordhaus, where they are driven to insanity by forcibly exposing them to Dethklok's music at extremely high volumes ("Dethvengeance"). He also had set up a worldwide embargo on all Dethklok Tribute bands, but repealed the ban in order for Dethklok to get closer to their fans. In P.R. Pickles, due to Liz Bane's Exodus P.R. Firm, Pickles becomes the most popular member of Dethklok, causing the rest of Dethklok to become jealous, demanding Offdensen gets them their own P.R. person. Offdensen tries to explain he is a P.R. person, but they say they want a "real P.R. person" (meaning in their logic, a lady P.R. person). The rest of Dethklok decide to start their own P.R. Firm. Offdensen confronts Dethklok after they spend $17 million, for nothing as their P.R. Firm hadn't increased sales whatsoever. In Black Fire Upon Us, Offdensen becomes very preoccupied about security during Dethklok's new album release party, appointing an elite group of Klokateers to protect Dethklok and constructing a high-powered shield to surround Mordhaus. During the Revengencers attack, he is shot down by a crossbow off his hoverbike while he is being chased by the Metal Masked Assassin. The Assassin then proceeds to brutally beat him up and attempts to torture him before killing him, but he is saved by Nathan Explosion. Nathan even says "That's my bread and butter you're fucking with" the same line said by Offdensen at the end of the first season's finale when he saved Toki and Skwisgaar. However, the episode's final shot leaves Offdensen's fate unclear. Season 3 In the 1st episode of Season 3, "RenovationKlok", it starts with a flashback showing Dethklok and Offdensen's meeting with Crystal Mountain Records CEO, Roy Cornickelson, signing a recording contract. The CEO and Offdensen shake hands with Offdensen stating the way the band is going they will both be very rich. However, the meeting is interrupted by Roy's arrogant son, Damien Cornickelson. Damien insults his father while demanding money, he also mocks Nathan and the band asking what kind of music they played, to which Nathan responds, "DETH METAL!", then punches him in the face. Offdensen prevents the son from punching Nathan (catching the punch with his hand) and Damien is forced leave, but swears revenge on Dethklok. After the meeting Offdensen tells the band they need to pay attention to contractual matters & the flashbacks ends with Offdensen warning "What if I'm not around in the future?". Back in the present, it appears Offdensen is dead & Dethklok is forced to become their own managers while dealing with repairs to the destroyed Mordhaus (which now floating high above the earth) and trying to plan their biggest concert to date. Dethklok is shown to be completely lost and helpless without Offdensen's guidance. With their poor business decisions, mismanagement, and bad spending habits cause them to lose money. Toki is seen by Pickles mourning Offdensen's death, looking at a picture of Offdensen. Toki tells Pickles he misses their manager and Pickles admits they all do even though they don't say it. When Toki asks why don't say it, Pickles responds (while looking at his locket with Offdensen picture inside), "Because admitting sadness, makes you gay.". Toki then tells Pickles "I feel we're taking Dethklok and managing it right down the crapper." Things get even worse when the Klokateers paychecks bounce and Nathan realizes that if their employee's money is F'd up, their money could be as well. It discovered that Crystal Mountain Records has cut off their unlimited financial freedom unless Dethklok renegotiates their contract. Damien is the man behind the record label's actions, having taken control of the company from his terminally ill father, as a way to get his revenge against Dethklok. Mordhaus electricity is turned off causing it to fall from the sky, however, Dethklok escapes unharmed. Even The Tribunal takes notice that Dethklok is in peril. Vater Orlaag states "Dethklok lost a truly important part of their empire." (referring to Offdensen). During the Tribunal's meeting, Offdensen's Viking funeral is shown (an honor only high level Dethklok employees receive, with Offdensen being their highest-level employee by far). Senator Stampingston states that with Offdensen gone, Dethklok doesn't have the ability to make educated business decisions and in the meantime they are squandering billions. Meanwhile, Dethklok has a meeting with Damien via teleprompter. Damien tells the band that they have to renegotiate their contract and if they don't then the label has the right to shut down the upcoming concert (as per their original contract), which Dethklok needs to play as it is the only way to make up for their lost funds. Dethklok, unable to understand contractual matters and out of money, is forced to cut back on spending. They decide to call the record label's bluff and do the concert anyway, without renegotiating. The concert goes as planned at first, however Damien shuts it down literally, by cutting the power. Left with no other option, but to renegotiate, Dethklok meets with Damien and two other executives backstage. They are about to sign a new contract when a glasses-less, plain clothed Offdensen appears ( sporting a scar on his left cheek). Nathan immediately punches Damien. Offdensen says to the band "You boys got a show to do, don't worry, I'll be right here when you're done and have a little meeting with these guys." With this last-minute plot twist, it is confirmed that Offdensen is still alive. On their way back to Mordhaus after a successful concert, Offdensen reveals that he faked his death for the last nine months in order to investigate the large conspiracy involving Dethklok, though he tells them that it's a story for another day; redirecting their attention to pulling the band back together financially. The episode ends showing General Crozier under the control of Selatcia mobilizing an army, Selatcia watching construction of what appears to be some sort of device in some far off frozen region (this is later revealed to all be part of the Selatcia's secret "FalconBack Project"). By the beginning of the second episode TributeKlok, Offdensen is shown to have quickly returned to his duties as Dethklok's manager/protector, repairing the damage done in his absence. He is forced to deal with the fallout after the band pulls out of a benefit concert and Murderface's makes a comment which causes fans to lash out in protest. In a meeting with Dethklok he explains how much time and money is spent silencing the media. He explains that they first make agreement with all participants involved in order to evict all information from the record, of course this means "rounding-up" (e.g. kidnapping) said participants and if there are any problems, they are dealt with. This includes mental reprogramming, facial reconstruction and relocation of any unwilling participants, all done in typical Dethklok fashion. Offdensen goes on to say that this happens every time Murderface has a media disaster (which is often). Also due to the backlash, Offdensen has decided that in order to get closer to the fan, the embargo on Dethklok tribute bands is repealed. In later meeting he explains that Dethklok has the right to approve/disapprove any said Tribute-bands. During the vote process Dethklok & Offdensen discover Toki has secretly created the tribute band Thunderhorse, with Toki playing the role of Skwisgaar Skwigelf. The band decides to go see Thunderhorse play. At the Thunderhorse concert the rest off Dethklok decided to join Toki in Thunderhorse as a way to get back to their roots. This leads to them (as ThunderHorse) getting roped into playing for the same benefit concert they originally pulled out of. Offdensen finds Dethklok suffering from starvation, lack of sleep, and being forced to be their own roadies. Offdensen tries to convince them to give up their gig as Thunderhorse, but they refuse. Offdensen eventually leaves telling them he'll be there if they need him. Right before the show is about to begin, Nathan & the others come to their senses and decide to bail on the concert. Nathan calls Offdensen to send their helicopter to pick them up. In "FatherKlok", he helps Skwisgaar deal with multiple paternity suits filed by various women whom he had fathered children with. Offdensen has the suits dismissed using typical Dethklok legal maneuvering (Signed Waivers), via signed "Paternity Waivers" which all women who wish to have sex with a member of Dethklok have to sign. While riding back to Mordhaus, Offdensen comments about Skwisgaar's lack of a father and makes a brief remark about his own father, saying that "his father had strong hands", before Skwisgaar says he wants to find his biological father. Offdensen looks just as surprised as the rest of the band when Skwisgaar shockingly announces that he's quitting the band. In "Doublebookedklok aka The Dead Man", Offdensen, along with being their manager/lawyer/protector, is also shown to be a surrogate father figure to Dethklok to the point they become despondent when Offdensen's job prevents him from spending time with them. This results in Dethklok drunk-booking a concert in Syria, while Offdensen had one booked in Israel for some time. This double-booked concert could potentially spark World War III. Offdensen is furious with Dethklok for the double-booked concerts and points out the potential ramifications of double-booking two middle east nations that happen to be "mortal enemies." However, being the brilliant manager he is, Offdensen comes up with plan to save both Dethklok's business and the world. But while meeting with the UN in an attempt to clear things up, Dethklok's immature antics finish his patience. Eventually, Offdensen puts his foot down and tells them off. Dethklok, believing their manager hates them decides to runaway right before the double-booked concert, forcing Offdensen to patch things up with the band. Offdensen apologizes for not spending time with them and Dethklok manages to do the double-booked concert with the aid of Offdensen's massive holograpic-projections of Dethklok (allowing them to play in both countries at the same time.) Offdensen's actions & the double-booked concert ultimately leads to peace in the middle east due to the people of Israel & Syria discovery of a common love of Dethklok music. It is also revealed by the Tribunal and in flashbacks, that Offdensen witnessed Selatcia's conversion of General Crozier, which is suggested to be the reason why he faked his death (possibly to spy on Selatcia, Crozier, and the rest of the Tribunal). The Tribunal also speculates he has become aware of the "FalconBack Project" (the name of Selatcia's secret project, shown at the end of "RenovationKlok"). At the end of the episode (after Dethklok's historic double-booked Middle East peace concert), Offdensen is seen visiting a secret room where Edgar Jomfru is shown to be alive and now appears to be working for Offdensen (it is unknown if he is working for Offdensen willingly or not). At that moment, one of the last things we see is a quick comparison between the faces of Offdensen and Selatcia. One frame, however, shows Offdensen with red eyes and his scar from when the Metal Masked Assassin cut the side of his face. Season 4 In "Breakup Klok", Offdensen protects the band when they are attacked by Selatcia (whom he refers to as the "Half-Man"), however Roy Cornickelson is killed. They manage to escape into the ocean in Dethklok's submarine where they the band and Offdensen stand looking at Cornickleson's dead body, Offdensen decides it is time to inform them about what is going on and states it time he told them about the Church of the Black Klok. In Church of the Black Klok, they journey to a secret location deep underwater, while on their way Offdensen reveals that during the attack in "Black Fire Upon Us" he saw Selatcia brainwashing General Crozier. When he looked into Selatcia's eyes he was poisoned by his power and in effect died but he was saved by the Church of the Black Klok, they removed Selatcia's poison which caused Offdensen to be revived as the "Deadman" someone who presence is invisible to the Half-Man's supernatural gaze making Offdensen the perfect person to spy on Crozier (Selatcia's pawn). Offdensen managed to retrieve vital intel on the Falconback project, though it was heavily encrypted forcing Offdensen to seek the help of Edgar Jomfru in decrypting it. Doomstar Requiem Charles tries to focus the band while Toki is missing. Eventually after Toki is found Charles is left with no other decision but to lead Dethklok to rescue him. However, Charles states upon his initial contract that agreed he would never lead Dethklok into direct danger. Since the rescue would break his agreement, he quits being their manager leaving them to have to resolve the conflict without him. At the end he is seen replacing Ishnifus Meaddle as the High Holy Priest of the Church of the Black Klok. Trivia *In "Dethsources", he reveals that he fenced in college while talking to Melmord Fjordslorn. *In "FatherKlok", he makes a brief comment about his father. This is the first time (and only time) in the series where he speaks about his family. *Offdensen has taken steps to "tantrum proof" Mordhaus. This includes bolting picnic tables to the ground of the Mordhaus outside picnic area. Nathan discovers this during the episode "Dethecution", when he tries to lift the picnic table in response to Offdensen's attempts to get Dethklok back to work. When Nathan fails to move the picnic table, Offdensen reveals that they are bolted to the floor/ground. Nathan angrily responds, "Don't you take away my ability to have tantrums, all right? That you cannot have, all right, you robot?". *A common running gag in the series is the various spellings of his last name. Although the official spelling is Offdensen, it is spelled "Ofdensen" in "Renovationklok", and in "Fatherklok", it is spelled "Offdenson". *His surname is likely a pun on the words "often seen" as he is "often seen with Dethklok". Category:Church of the Black Klok Category:Characters Category:Dethklok Employees Category:Allies of Dethklok Category:Mordhaus Category:Dethklok Category:Dethklok's Mascot Category:Band Managers Category:Record Industry Category:Dethklok Security Forces Category:FalconBack Project Category:Heroes